Child (Name) Abuse

The wife of a co-worker or mine just had a baby boy.  For the most part they did not share their thoughts as to what to name the child until after the birth.  I can understand why.  Sometimes well meaning friends and family will tell the expecting parents that their ideas for names (which they have probably spend hours and days and weeks thinking over and discussing) are bad and then suggest their own “great name” ideas.  By not telling anyone the name saves a lot of drama.   This little boy was blessed with a normal name (spelled in a Greek way) – Nikolas.  Nikolas Jose Alicea (or as I decided to call him, “Ninja”).

Other little kids are not so blessed.  They get some odd names (all the following are real names of people I’ve met or heard about).  Orangejello, Bill Board, Rusty, etc.  And then there are the well meaning Christian parents who come up with “Christian” names – Jezebel, Dispenser, Livingstone, Judas, Jonah, and Delilah to name a few.  Having names like that can make kids want to run for cover or get their names officially changed like in this spoof news article of kids saddled with Old Testament names.

So, future parents…please stop thinking about “cool” or “interesting” names for your children and start thinking about whether those names will end up with your kids getting made fun of or beaten up at school.


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