Answering Four Street-Level Arguments for Sexual Immorality

Answering Four Street-Level Arguments for Sexual Immorality

By Matt Chandler

As fallen human beings we tend to explain away or excuse our sin. We all do it. It’s part of our desires to justify ourselves apart from the blood of Christ.

So below are four street-level excuses we commonly use to justify our sexual sin coupled with answers.

1. My sexual choices aren’t hurting anyone else.

I call this the Golden Rule idea. If it’s not hurting anyone else, what could be wrong with it? If a guy is sleeping with his girlfriend and the two of them are consenting adults, why should the church condemn that behavior? Likewise, if a woman wants to be in a monogamous sexual relationship with another woman, why does it matter as long as it’s not harming anyone else?

The truth is, sexual sin does harm us. It’s a sin against the body.

We also must remember that the Golden Rule (love your neighbor) is second to the greatest commandment (love God with your whole self). Jesus said clearly in the Gospel of John that those who love him obey his commands (see John 14:15). In other words, “If you love me, obey me.”

When you place the Golden Rule within the framework of biblical teaching, you see that sexual sin is a sin against our own bodies and is ultimately a sign of our rebellion against the God who made us.

2. We’re all sinners, so who are you to judge?

Whenever Christians affirm Jesus’ vision for human sexuality, we are often greeted with the comeback line “So you’re perfect, then?”

The critics have a point here. The Bible shows us up as sexual sinners—all of us. But the real issue is repentance. The question is not “Do I sin?” but “Am I walking in repentance?”

Christians ought never to feel superior to others. We’re sinners too. The question is about repentance. Are we turning from sin and embracing Jesus?

3. Jesus never talked about homosexuality.

This objection is only half true. When it comes to dealing with the topic explicitly, Jesus did not speak to the subject, so far as we know from Scripture. But there is a sense in which Jesus did address this issue.

In Matthew 15:18-19, we read: “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.” The word for “sexual immorality” covers all sorts of behaviors condemned in the Old and New Testaments.

Furthermore, when asked about divorce, Jesus went back to God’s design in creation to show how men and women were to relate to one another. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus built on the Old Testament understanding of morality and even went beyond it—calling us out for lust.

4. Sexual promiscuity is seen in nature.

Sometimes people will condemn faithfulness between a husband and wife (monogamy) or the Christian view of homosexual behavior by appealing to nature. As long as animals aren’t monogamous and as long as we see some animals behaving in same-sex ways, then why would we condemn adultery or homosexuality or sex outside of marriage? If it’s in nature, it must be natural.

This line of thinking denigrates the dignity of human beings, implying we are nothing more than our sexual passions. If we roll out that argument, we arrive in a scary place. We know of certain insects where the male impregnates the female and the female turns around and eats the male. Who wants that as the norm for humans?

What’s worse, those who believe in evolutionary theory adopt the principle “survival of the fittest.” Do we want to imply, for example, that people with same-sex attractions are genetically weaker than other human beings? Of course not! Appealing to nature to justify any kind of sexual immorality is a dead end leading us to see people with less dignity, not more.

*********************

Editors’ note: This article is adapted from The Gospel Project’s Winter 2013-2014 Bible study on “A God-Centered Worldview.” Check out options for adults and students andkids. 

Thou Hast Done

A Hymn To God The Father

BY TULLIAN TCHIVIDJIAN

The hymn below by English poet and cleric John Donne (1572-1631) says it all: God meets my ongoing sin with his inexhaustible forgiveness. 70 times 7.

My friend Shane Rosenthal sent me a note explaining that, according to some commentators, there is double meaning in the line, “Thou hast done” which repeats throughout the poem. It obviously refers to that which God has done for Donne in contrast to that which Donne has done (and continues to do). But the other meaning, especially clear in the last stanza, is a play on the poet’s own name: “Thou hast Donne.” It is his realization that despite his weak grip on God, God’s grip on him is perfect and forever, that finally ends his fears.

It never ceases to amaze me that, if you are in Christ, you can never, ever, ever outsin the coverage of God’s forgiveness. Amazing love…how can it be?

WILT Thou forgive that sin where I begun,
Which was my sin, though it were done before?
Wilt Thou forgive that sin, through which I run,
And do run still, though still I do deplore?
When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
For I have more.

Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I have won
Others to sin, and made my sin their door?
Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I did shun
A year or two, but wallowed in a score?
When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
For I have more.

I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun
My last thread, I shall perish on the shore ;
But swear by Thyself, that at my death Thy Son
Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore;
And having done that, Thou hast Donne ;
I fear no more.

Blessed are the Forgiven

   
    Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

    For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah

    I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

    Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

    I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

    Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.
Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!
(Psalm 32 ESV)

Abounding Grace and Sin

“Abounding grace, rightly understood, will not make you sin; it will not relax morality or make inconsistency a trifle.  It will magnify sin and enhance its evil in your eyes.  Your footing or “standing” in grace (Rom. 5:2) will be the strongest, as well as most blessed, that you can every occupy.  If your feed be “shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace” (Eph. 6:15), you will be able to “stand” and to “withstand”; not otherwise.”
–Horatius Bonar (Follow the Lamb)

Dear Mr. Antinomian

I came across this “open letter” on the Resurgence blog and found it amusing and a great insight on the radial power of God’s grace.  For some reason, even Christians seem to have difficulty in believing that God’s grace is as powerful as the Bible declares.  Maybe it is due to our vast experience with the power of our sinful nature – its ability to overwhelm our human desires and attempts to do that which is good (Romans 7:7-25) – that leads to our lack of belief in the power of God’s grace.  Yet, if we say that we believe the truth of the Bible, does it not make sense to believe that the power of God’s grace abounds more than sin (Romans 6:18-21)?  In comparison to the rushing flood of grace’s power, sin is but a dripping faucet. Imagine the wonderful impact in the lives of people if we actually accepted the truth of the radical nature of God’s grace, allowing it to run freely in our lives.

Dear Mr. Antinomian (Resurgence)

An Introduction from Tullian Tchividjian:

There seems to be a fear out there that the preaching of radical grace produces serial killers. Or, to put it in more theological terms, too much emphasis on the indicatives of the gospel leads to antinomianism (a lawless version of Christianity that believes the directives and commands of God don’t matter). My problem with this fear is that I’ve never actually met anyone who has been truly gripped by God’s amazing grace in the gospel who then doesn’t care about obeying him. As I have said before: antinomianism happens not when we think too much of grace. Just the opposite, actually. Antinomianism happens when we think too little of grace.

Wondering whether this common fear is valid, my dear friend Elyse Fitzpatrick (in C.S. Lewis fashion) writes an open letter to Mr. Grace-Loving Antinomian–a person she’s heard about for years but never met–asking him to please step forward and identify himself.

Enjoy…

---

Dear Mr. Antinomian,

Forgive me for writing to you in such an open forum but I’ve been trying to meet you for years and we just never seem to connect. While it’s true that I live in a little corner of the States and while it’s true that I am, well, a woman, I did assume that I would meet you at some point in my decades old counseling practice. But alas, neither you nor any of your (must be) thousands of brothers and sisters have ever shown up for my help… So again, please do pardon my writing in such a public manner but, you see, I’ve got a few things to say to you and I think it’s time I got them off my chest.

I wonder if you know how hard you’re making it for those of us who love to brag about the gospel. You say that you love the gospel and grace too, but I wonder how that can be possible since it’s been continuously reported to me that you live like such a slug. I’ve even heard that you are lazy and don’t work at obeying God at all…Rather you sit around munching on cigars and Twinkies, brewing beer and watching porn on your computer. Mr. A, really! Can this be true?

So many of my friends and acquaintances are simply up in arms about the way you act and they tell me it’s because you talk too much about grace. They suggest (and I’m almost tempted to agree) that what you need is more and more rules to live by. In fact, I’m very tempted to tell you that you need to get up off your lazy chair, pour your beer down the drain, turn off your computer and get about the business of the Kingdom.

I admit that I’m absolutely flummoxed, though, which is why I’m writing as I am. You puzzle me. How can you think about all that Christ has done for you, about your Father’s steadfast, immeasurable, extravagantly generous love and still live the way you do? Have you never considered the incarnation, about the Son leaving ineffable light to be consigned first to the darkness of Mary’s womb and then the darkness of this world? Have you never considered how He labored day-after-day in His home, obeying His parents, loving His brothers and sisters so that you could be counted righteous in the sight of His Father? Have you forgotten the bloody disgrace of the cross you deserve? Don’t you know that in the resurrection He demolished sin’s power over you? Aren’t you moved to loving action knowing that He’s now your ascended Lord Who prays for you and daily bears you on His heart? Has your heart of stone never been warmed and transformed by the Spirit? Does this grace really not impel zealous obedience? Hello…Are you there?

Honestly, even though my friends talk about you as though you were just everywhere in every church, always talking about justification but living like the devil, frankly I wonder if you even exist. I suppose you must because everyone is so afraid that talking about grace will produce more of you. So that’s why I’m writing: Will you please come forward? Will you please stand up in front of all of us and tell us that your heart has been captivated so deeply by grace that it makes you want to watch the Playboy channel?

Again, please do forgive me for calling you out like this. I really would like to meet you.

Trusting in Grace Alone,
Elyse

 

Tozer on God’s Great Grace

“No one was ever saved other than by grace…Since mankind was banished from the eastward Garden, none has ever returned to the divine favor except through the sheer goodness of God.  And wherever grace found any man it was always by Jesus Christ.  Grace indeed came by Jesus Christ [John 1:17], but it did not wait for his birth in the manger or His death on the cross before it became operative.  Christ is the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world [Revelation 13:8].  The first man in human history to be reinstated in the fellowship of God came through faith in Christ.  In olden times men looked forward to Christ’s redeeming work; in later times they gaze back upon it [Hebrews 11:1-12:2], but always they came and they come by grace through faith [Ephesians 2:8].

We must keep in mind also that the grace of God is infinite and eternal.  As it had no beginning, so it can have no end, and being an attribute of God, it is as boundless as infinite.

Instead of straining to comprehend this as a theological truth, it would be better and simpler to compare God’s grace with our need.  We can never know the enormity of our sin, neither is it necessary that we should. What we can know is that “where sin abounded, grace did much more abound” [Romans 5:20].

To “abound” in sin: that is the worst and the most we could or can do.  The word abound defines the limit of our finite abilities; and although we feel our iniquities rise over us like a mountain, the mountain, nevertheless, has definable boundaries: it is so large, so high, it weighs only this certain amount and no more. But who shall define the limitless grace of God?  Its “much more” plunges our thoughts into infinitude and confounds them there.  All thanks be to God for grace abounding.

We who feel ourselves alienated from the fellowship of God can now raise our discouraged heads and look up.  Through the virtues of Christ’s atoning death the cause of our banishment has been removed.  We may return as the Prodigal returned, and be welcome [Luke 15:11-32].

A.W. Tozer (The Knowledge of the Holy, pp. 148-150)

Return, O wanderer, now return,
And seek thy Father’s face;
Those new desires which in thee burn
Were kindled by His grace.

Return, O wanderer, now return,
And wipe the falling tear:
Thy Father calls, – no longer mourn;
‘Tis love invites thee near.
-William Benco Collyer

Smart People Doing Stupid Stuff

When smart people do stupid stuff it causes us to scratch our heads.  An otherwise insightful leader systematically gets rid of his most creative and productive co-workers resulting in a “stable” yet stagnant and crumbling organization.  An otherwise smart person cutting through a dark alley at night in a city as a short cut and wonders why they get robbed.  An avid “texter” washing a cell phone in a sink after dropping it in the dirt.  The once honor student who spends their time getting drunk, skipping classes, and/or using drugs claiming to have life under control while their diminishing GPA tells a starkly different story.  The respected thinker who claims moral relativity yet gets upset when something “bad” happens to them or a family member.  The spiritual scholar who somehow finds a way to get their texts to say the exact opposite of what they actually mean in order to live or endorse their preferred lifestyle.

The list could go on and on.  So, what causes seemingly smart people to do some really stupid stuff?  There can be some more innocent reasons such as ignorance and not thinking things through.  And there can be some less innocent, more self-centered reasons as well.  Sternberg’s Four Fallacies is a list of self-beliefs under the latter category that demonstrate our tendency towards the sins of being self-centered, assuming we are God, and believing we are above the moral law.

1) The Egocentrism Fallacy – The person believes that “it is all about me”.  All the plans and actions center only around their own interests. A sin of being self-centered.
2) The Omniscience Fallacy – While a person may know a great deal about something, they begin to think that they know everything about everything.  A sin of thinking they are God.
3) The Omnipotence Fallacy – The person believes that they are all powerful and can do whatever they want when they want. A sin of thinking they are God, or even better than God since God will not lie or doing anything unrighteous (Hebrews 6:18; Psalm 92:15)
4) The Invulnerability Fallacy – The person believes that they can do what they want and not get caught. If they do get caught, they believe that they will not suffer the consequences, be able to get out of the situation, or fix the situation to their own desires.  A sin of thinking that they are above moral law and there is no Ultimate Judge.

Who do you know who falls into one of those four fallacies?  Which of the fallacies do you find yourself entertaining?

Knowledge Will Always Result in Good…Or Will It?

I was reading one of my text books and the author describes a particular view in psychotherapy that caused me to go exclaim, “You can’t seriously believe that!”  Not only did it fly in the face of Scripture, its claims directly contradicted the past century of world history, and thousands of years worth of human experience.  Can you pick out what I’m talking about?

In psychotherapy, clients are enormously reassured by the belief that their chaotic inner world, their suffering, and their tortuous interpersonal relationships are all explicable and thereby governable.  Maslow, in fact, views the increase of knowledge as having transformative effects far beyond the realms of safety, anxiety reduction, and mastery.  He views psychiatric illness as a disease caused by knowledge deficiency.  In this way he would support the moral philosophic contention that if we know the good, we will always act for the good.  Presumably it follows that if we know what is ultimately good for us we will act in our own best interests (The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom; p 94).

Did you catch it?  “In this way he would support the moral philosophic contention that if we know the good, we will always act for the good”. If the statement was that an “knowing the good can help a person act for the good” I would be less shocked.  It is not uncommon for a person to err, offend, or not act for the good out of ignorance.  With the removal of ignorance comes the increased chances that a person will not do the same thing, but it by no means results in a person henceforth always acting for the good.

Individual and human history testifies to the fact that an increase in knowledge can and has acted for the evil rather than the good.  We have just emerged from the bloodiest century in human history.  Some of the greatest evils were propagated by some of the most educated and technologically advanced nations in the world.  If anything, history has demonstrated that humanity tends find ways to use any advancement in knowledge to promote evil rather than good.  Yes, there have been many advances of knowledge that have resulted in better medicine and other humanitarian efforts; but it does not take a genius to see that an increase in knowledge will not always lead to people acting for good.  Too often it is the exact opposite response.

Human experience simply backs up the Bible’s clear portrayal of humanity in its fallen condition.  The Apostle Paul clearly lays out the struggle between knowing what is right and doing what is wrong in the book of Romans. “I am of flesh, sold under sin…For I do not do what I want, but do the very thing I hate…For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (Romans 7:14-15, 19).

The reality of this experience resonates within all humanity.  If we confront our situation with honest we will eventually be brought to exclaim with Paul, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24) Thankfully there is an answer.  Paul provides it in the very next verse in his gleeful proclamation, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:25)

Sin and Psychology

Christianity and psychology have a tumultuous relationship.  In the early church, the conditions of a person’s entire being, body and soul and spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23) tended to be treated holistically.  As time progressed, both the secular realm and the religious realm began to separate the treatment of the “natural” part of people and the “spiritual” part of people.  Eventually, around the period of the Enlightenment, a schism emerged between the religious world and the world of psychology. Each demonizing the other.

Over the past few decades there has been some mending of fences as both the secular side of psychology and the Christians began to see the benefits of holistically treating people’s “spiritual” and “natural” elements.  There is still much more room for improvement and mutual discernment, but some of the antagonism has been reduced as demonstrated by ardent atheist Albert Ellis who used to declare that religion causes illnesses but now says, “I think that I can safely say that the Judeo-Christian Bible is a self-help book that has probably enabled more people to make more extensive and intensive personality and behavioral changes than all professional therapists combined” (Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling pp 4-5).

While reading a book on abnormal psychology (Modern Psychopathologies by Yarhouse, Butman, & McRay) the topic of sin emerged.  In general, the term and condition of sin has been swept away in secular psychology in the preference for descriptions of sickness and crime.  From a biblical framework, sin, sickness, and crime are not synonyms.  If anything, sickness and crime are results from the sinful condition of humanity.  Sin took the “very good” creation of God (Gen. 1:31) and introduced destruction into interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships.  As author and professor of psychology Mark McMinn put it, “Some people are sick, and some are criminals, but we all are sinners.”

McMinn also used the analogy of sin as white noise.  Typically, a person views sin as something that we do (commission) or something that we did not do but should have done (omission).  Sin is light a light switch – either on or off.  The reality of sin is that it is always like white noise in our lives.  Sin is always on.  Sin has the amazing numbing effect on our ability to even discern sin.  As McMinn says, “the fact that we discern sin so rarely is itself a symptom of sin.”

Realizing the presence and effects of sin on humanity’s internal and interpersonal (I believe this is a made up word) relationships (let alone our relationship with God) really begs the question as to why we do not discuss the problem of sin in people’s lives when in counseling sessions.  Granted, in a secular world that often views anything Christian as taboo this is an area that needs to navigated very thoughtfully.  But outside of the counseling room, there is more freedom in our interpersonal (and intrapersonal) relationships to discuss sin.  So why do we not touch on the topic more?  The authors of Modern Psychopathology have a theory and some insightful considerations:

Christians seem to fear that if they reference sin they will be associated with those who essentially use the explanatory framework to bully others.  They may want to avoid seeming more concerned with morality than with facilitating people’s mental health and well-being.  Of course we must consider the reasoning behind this assumption: it may well be that an accurate understanding and working through of sin may facilitate greater well-being in the long run than a denial of the reality of sin. (p 93)

Drinking Grace

Sin is a funny creature.  Not funny in a humorous manner.  Funny in regards to its peculiar ability to cause us to pathologically self-destruct.  We sin.  Again. Maybe it is that sin. We feel condemned, soiled, and ashamed.  We then try to employ every method of handling our sinful condition except the one proven method.  We try ignoring it only to feel like our very bones are wasting away inside of us (Psalm 32:3).  We hide from God in the vain hope that He does not know what we did, only to feel His hand heavy upon us (32:4).  We attempt to atone for the sin or overcome it out of our own strength only to find our strength drying up as by the heat of summer (32:4).

The result is destruction unless we actually come to the source of grace and forgiveness that is only found in the Person of Jesus Christ based on His righteousness and sacrifice on the cross.  When we acknowledge our sin to Him, without any attempted cover up, we are washed and cleansed (32:5; 1 John 1:9).  The result is rejoicing, righteousness, and even shouting for joy (Psalm 32:11)!

Yet sin pops its ugly head up and tries to rob our joy and assurance by questioning the grace of God in Christ.  The creature attempts to cause us to think that we have to earn grace.  Or it may try to convince us that grace isn’t big enough for that sin, especially if that sin is repeated a certain number of times.  If that does not work, then sin works to make us believe that God’s grace is in short supply, or maybe that we only have access to a limited amount of grace and we have exceeded our quota.

We are faced with a choice.  Do we accept the lies and subtle undermining of sin or do we stand firm on the truth of the Word of God and the promised grace in Christ?  When we reject the lie and act on the truth we find freedom and encounter an inexhaustible river of grace.  The Puritan writer John Owen penned these excellent words about drinking from the boundless supply of grace found in Jesus Christ:

[If] all the world should (if I may say so) set themselves to drink free grace, mercy, and pardon, drawing water continually from the wells of salvation…they would not be able to sin the grace of the promise one hair’s breadth. There is enough for millions of worlds, if they were; because it flows into it from an infinite, bottomless fountain…This infiniteness of grace, in respect of its spring and fountain, will answer all objections that might hinder our souls from drawing nigh to communion with Him, and from a free embracing of Him.  Will not this suit us in all our distresses?  What is our finite guilt before it?  Show me a sinner that can spread his iniquities to the dimensions (if I may say so) of this grace.  Here is mercy enough for the greatest, the oldest, the most stubborn transgressor.
(Communion with the Triune God, pp161-162)