Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Prayer

“One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook [and Pinterest] will be to prove at the Last Day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time.”
-John Piper

Jesus > Religion Interview

Jefferson Bethke, who wrote the poem Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus (aka Jesus > Religion).  The video went viral.  People responded with rave reviews and with rage reviews.  Three previous posts have been blogged on Seth’s Oasis here, here, and here.  Just the other day, Bethke was interviewed by Scott Baker of Glenn Beck TV about the message of the poem, a previous poem, and people’s reactions to the poem.  Bethke took the opportunity to share about Jesus and grace over the course of the twenty minute interview.  Anticipating backlash for accepting the interview from those who disagree with Beck’s position, Bethke wrote on his facebook:

Here’s a youtube video of the Glenn Beck interview. Thanks to Scott Baker for interviewing me I had a blast! (Note: to all those getting upset at me that I went on a show they “don’t agree with” all I can say is it’d be stupid of me to turn down an opportunity to share about the grace and mercy afforded to us all in the cross of Jesus. Whatever the platform is, if they let me talk about Jesus, I’d be a fool to not take it. *off soapbox* lol).

The interview is well-worth a watch.  Check it out below:

The Crescendo of Psalm 98

Oh sing to the LORD a new song,
for he has done marvelous things!
His right hand and his holy arm
have worked salvation for him.
The LORD has made known his salvation;
he has revealed his righteousness in the sight of the nations.
He has remembered his steadfast love and faithfulness
to the house of Israel.
All the ends of the earth have seen
the salvation of our God.

Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth;
break forth into joyous song and sing praises!
Sing praises to the LORD with the lyre,
with the lyre and the sound of melody!
With trumpets and the sound of the horn
make a joyful noise before the King, the LORD!

Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
the world and those who dwell in it!
Let the rivers clap their hands;
let the hills sing for joy together
before the LORD, for he comes
to judge the earth.
He will judge the world with righteousness,
and the peoples with equity.
(Psalm 98 ESV)

“Nature is given poetic description in the psalm.  Seas roar, rivers clap their hands, and hills sing, but the masterpiece is God’s saving his people.  The true celebration is in the restoring of an image bearer who reflects the steadfast love, faithfulness, righteousness, and justice of his God.  This means that for us to function as a mirror in which someone else can see God, we must see ourselves as interconnected, as living in community.”
(Bill Clem, Disciple, p. 71)

God is for God – Matt Chandler

God is for God.  In a world that likes to make everything about “me,” Chandler’s sermon is a breath of fresh air.  Chandler talks very little about how the world is all about itself, but rather spends the majority of his time confronting the dangerous beliefs of Christians who can change the message of the Bible from a God-centered message to a primarily man-focused message.

Worship Defined

Worship is the submission of all of our nature to God.
It is the quickening of conscience by His holiness,
Nourishment of mind by His truth,
Purifying of imagination by His beauty,
Opening of the heart to His love,
And submission of will to His purpose.
And all this gathered up in adoration is the greatest of human
expressions of which we are capable.
-William Temple (Archbishop of Canterbury 1942-1944)
(Disciple by Bill Clem; p. 68)

Religion Defined in “Jesus > Religion”

The internet has swarmed with commentary on the Jefferson Bethke poem Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus aka Jesus > Religion.  As mentioned in a previous post, “Jesus > Religion Second Glance,” we must be careful about making a blanket statement that religion is always bad, as the Bible does not always use the term in a negative sense (c.f. James 1:27).

(Also, to see how to brothers can communicate in love and respect with one another, even when critique is involved, see Kevin DeYoung and Jefferson Bethke’s correspondence about Jesus > Religion at “Following Up on the Jesus/Religion Video“.)

Giving Bethke some poetic license and the benefit of the doubt that he knows this, we can look at the negative definition of religion as defined by Bethke (and used in his poem) as well as a definition of the negative use of religion as described by Timothy Keller (per Tullian Tchividjian’s article Religion and the Gospel) and how this definition of religion is in contrast to the gospel:

A lot of attention has been paid to Jefferson Bethke’s video Why I Hate Religion But Love Jesus. Jefferson is a great, humble, teachable brother who loves the gospel. But the response to his video has been varied. Many love it. Others hate it. And still others have raised a caution flag–uncomfortable with the way “religion” is often contrasted with the gospel.

Wary of the trend amongst younger evangelicals to justify their jettisoning of the institutional church and God’s commands and theological traditions by saying “That’s all religion and Jesus hates religion”, is a point of contention for those who questioned the fruitfulness of Jefferson’s video. If that’s what people think when they hear the word “religion”, then I understand the concern.

But, it does raise some important questions. For example, in the Bible, is the word “religion” always opposed to the gospel? Or, is the main idea of “religion” opposed to the main idea of the gospel? What about what people hear when they hear the word “religion”? Do they hear the word and understand something different than what the Bible says about the gospel? Good questions. Obviously words have their meaning in context and thankfully Jefferson provided context for his use of the word “religion” in the video by writing on his website:

[This is] a poem I wrote to highlight the difference between Jesus and false religion. In the scriptures Jesus received the most opposition from the most religious people of his day. At it’s core Jesus’ gospel and the good news of the Cross is in pure opposition to self-righteousness/self-justification. Religion is man centered, Jesus is God-centered. This poem highlights my journey to discover this truth.

Regardless of what you think about the video, I think that Jefferson’s definition of “religion” above and Tim Keller’s definition of “religion” below highlights an important distinction between “religion” and the gospel (a distinction that, ironically, even those who raised concerns about the video agree with).

Justifying the contrast between religion and the gospel, Tim Keller has pointed out that the Greek word for “religion” used in James 1 is used negatively in Colossians 2:18 where it describes false asceticism, fleshly works-righteousness, and also in Acts 26:5 where Paul speaks of his pre-Christian life in strict “religion.” It is also used negatively in the Apocrypha to describe idol worship in Wis 14:18 and 27. So, according to Keller, the word certainly has enough negative connotations to use as a fair title for the category of works-righteousness. In the Old Testament the prophets are devastating in their criticism of empty ritual and religious observances designed to bribe and appease God rather then serving, trusting, and loving him. The word “religion” isn’t used for this approach, but it’s a good way to describe what the prophets are condemning.

Keller goes on to tease out this distinction with this helpful comparison list:

RELIGION: I obey-therefore I’m accepted
THE GOSPEL: I’m accepted-therefore I obey.

RELIGION: Motivation is based on fear and insecurity
THE GOSPEL: Motivation is based on grateful joy.

RELIGION: I obey God in order to get things from God
THE GOSPEL: I obey God to get to God-to delight and resemble Him.

RELIGION: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God or my self, since I believe, like Job’s friends that anyone who is good deserves a comfortable life
THE GOSPEL: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle but I know all my punishment fell on Jesus and that while he may allow this for my training, he will exercise his Fatherly love within my trial.

RELIGION: When I am criticized I am furious or devastated because it is critical that I think of myself as a ‘good person’. Threats to that self-image must be destroyed at all costs
THE GOSPEL: When I am criticized I struggle, but it is not critical for me to think of myself as a ‘good person.’ My identity is not built on my record or my performance but on God’s love for me in Christ. I can take criticism.

RELIGION: My prayer life consists largely of petition and it only heats up when I am in a time of need. My main purpose in prayer is control of the environment
THE GOSPEL: My prayer life consists of generous stretches of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with Him.

RELIGION: My self-view swings between two poles. If and when I am living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and unsympathetic to failing people. If and when I am not living up to standards, I feel insecure and inadequate. I’m not confident. I feel like a failure
THE GOSPEL: My self-view is not based on a view of my self as a moral achiever. In Christ I am “simul iustus et peccator”—simultaneously sinful and yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad he had to die for me and I am so loved he was glad to die for me. This leads me to deeper and deeper humility and confidence at the same time. Neither swaggering nor sniveling.

RELIGION: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work. Or how moral I am, and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to ‘the other
THE GOSPEL: My identity and self-worth are centered on the one who died for His enemies, who was excluded from the city for me. I am saved by sheer grace. So I can’t look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. Only by grace I am what I am. I’ve no inner need to win arguments.

RELIGION: Since I look to my own pedigree or performance for my spiritual acceptability, my heart manufactures idols. It may be my talents, my moral record, my personal discipline, my social status, etc. I absolutely have to have them so they serve as my main hope, meaning, happiness, security, and significance, whatever I may say I believe about God
THE GOSPEL: I have many good things in my life—family, work, spiritual disciplines, etc. But none of these good things are ultimate things to me. None of them are things I absolutely have to have, so there is a limit to how much anxiety, bitterness, and despondency they can inflict on me when they are threatened and lost.

So let’s not lose sight of the fact that, as defined by these two brothers, there is an antithetical relationship between religion (the burden of achieving rescue and right standing with God) and the gospel (the blessing of receiving rescue and a right standing with God in Christ alone).

One final thought: as I mentioned above, for a thousand different reasons people hear different things and draw different conclusions when they hear the same words (Cornelius Van Til). So, let’s not forget as missionaries that if the gospel is ever going to reach people in our day it’s going to have to be distinguished from religion (as described above) because “religion” is what most people outside the church think Christianity is all about—rules and standards and behavior and cleaning yourself up and politics and social causes and ascetic appeasement and self-salvation and climbing the “ladder”, and a whole host of other things that Jefferson rightly points out.

 

Jesus > Religion Poem Second Glance

The Jesus > Religion poem by Jefferson Bethke has sprouted up all over the internet.  I posted the video-poem yesterday and have posted it again below.  Many people have responded with, “Yeah!  That’s right!”  Others are crying foul at what is perceived to be a false dichotomy between Jesus and religion.  Bethke, noticing how some have used his poem to attack the church, posted on facebook to clarify his position within the poem and warned people not to use his poem to attack the church:

If you are using my video to bash “the church” be careful. I was in no way intending to do that. My heart came from trying to highlight and expose legalism and hypocrisy. The Church is Jesus’ bride so be careful how you speak of His wife. If a normal dude has right to get pissed when you bash His wife, it makes me tremble to think how great the weight is when we do it to Jesus’ wife. The church is His vehicle to reach a lost word. A hospital for sinners. Saying you love Jesus but hate the Church, is like a fiancé saying he loves his future bride, but hates her kids. We are all under grace. Look to Him.

The words of the Jesus > Religion author should cause people to pause before misusing Bethke’s creation to attack the church and Christianity.  Seeing the author’s intent, in his own words, should also help to quell some of the negative reactions from some Christians concerned about what the message could portray to the world.

On the other hand, it is worth looking into some of the weaknesses of the poem’s words, while at the same time giving grace and room for poetic license.  Kevin DeYoung wrote a lengthy response (and critique) of the poem, Does Jesus Hate Religion? Kinda, Sorta, Not Really, of which I have reproduced some of his better points that help us remember that we need a discerning ear (but should also avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater).

Concerning “Jesus Hates Religion”:

Bethke sees religion as a man made attempt to earn God’s favor. Religion equals self-righteousness, moral preening, and hypocrisy. Religion is all law and no gospel. If that’s religion, then Jesus is certainly against it. But that’s not what religion is. We can say that’s what is has become for some people or what we understand it to be. But words still matter and we shouldn’t just define them however we want…People hear “religion” and think of rules, rituals, dogma, pastors, priests, institutions. People love Oprah and the Shack and “spiritual, not religious” bumper stickers because the mood of our country is one that wants God without the strictures that come with traditional Christianity.  We love the Jesus that hates religion. 

The only problem is, he didn’t. Jesus was a Jew. He went to services at the synagogue. He observed Jewish holy days. He did not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets, but to fulfill them (Matt. 5:17). He founded the church (Matt. 16:18). He established church discipline (Matt. 18:15-20). He instituted a ritual meal (Matt. 26:26-28). He told his disciples to baptize people and to teach others to obey everything he commanded (Matt. 28:19-20). He insisted that people believe in him and believe certain things about him (John 3:16-18; 8:24). If religion is characterized by doctrine, commands, rituals, and structure, then Jesus is not your go-to guy for hating religion…

The word “religion” occurs five times in English Standard Version of the Bible. It is, by itself, an entirely neutral word. Religion can refer to Judaism (Acts 26:5) or the Jewish-Christian faith (Acts 25:19). Religion can be bad when it is self-made (Col. 2:23) or fails to tame the tongue (James 1:26). But religion can also be good when it cares for widows and orphans and practices moral purity (James 1:27). Unless we define the word to suit our purposes, there is simply no biblical grounds for saying Jesus hated religion. What might be gained by using such language will, without a careful explanation and caveats, be outweighed by what is lost when we give the impression that religion is the alloy that corrupts a relationship with Jesus.

Concerning Religion, Wars, and the Poor:

More to the point, Christians need to stop perpetuating the myth that we’ve basically been huge failures in the world. That may win us an audience with non-Christians, but it’s not true. We are sinners like everyone else, so our record is mixed. We’ve been stupid and selfish over the years. But we’ve also been the salt of the earth. The evangelical awakening in England in the eighteenth century is widely credited for preventing the sort of bloodbath that swept over France in the “enlightened” French Revolution. Christians (and conservatives in general) give more to charitable causes than their secular counterparts. Christians run countless shelters, pregnancy centers, rescue missions, and food pantries. Christians operate orphanages, staff clinics, dig wells, raise crops, teach children, and fight AIDS around the globe. While we can always do more and may be blind to the needs around us at times, there is no group of people on the planet that do more for the poor than Christians. If you know of a church with a dozen escalators and no money and no heart for the hurting, then blast that church. But we have to stop the self-flagellation and the slander that says Christians do nothing for the poor.

Concerning Some Concluding Thoughts…

The strengths in this poem are the strengths I see in many young Christians—a passionate faith, a focus on Jesus, a love for grace, and a hatred for anything phony or self-righteous. The weaknesses here can be the weaknesses of my generation (and younger)—not enough talk of repentance and sanctification, a tendency to underestimate the importance of obedience in the Christian life, a one-dimensional view of grace, little awareness that our heavenly Father might ever discipline his children or be grieved by their continued transgression, and a penchant for sloganeering instead of careful nuance…love what Jesus loves without tearing down what he also loves and people are apt to misunderstand…

Thanks for reminding us about Jesus. But try to be more careful when talking about religion. After all, there is one religion whose aim is to worship, serve, know, proclaim, believe, obey, and organize around this Jesus. And without all those verbs, there’s not much Jesus left.

To be fair to DeYoung, throughout his article he points out many strengths and things he likes about the words of Jesus > Religion.  There are some points that he praises the poem quite highly.  The sections above are simply snippets of some of his critiques that are worth considering before a person takes the poem in a way that the author did not intend or simply runs around shouting a mantra of “liking Jesus but hating religion &/or the church & or Christianity, &/or…” well, you get the point.

Jesus > Religion Poem

What is the difference between Jesus and religion?  Why is Christianity, when practiced and preached based on the Bible so much greater and better than religion practiced and preached?  The following poem, Jesus > Religion, lays out the difference without holding back punches from those who claim Christianity but live contrary to it, but at the same time has balance to not say “out with the church and Christianity.”

The Good, the Bad, and the Gospel

During the first Oasis Christian Community sermon, “Immediately,” of the “Working Savior: Jesus in the Gospel of Mark” series, the article The Shared Fate of Vaclav Havel and Kim Jong-il was referenced.  The key points of the article can be summed up with the sentences:

The death of these two political leaders—Vaclav Havel and Kim Jong-il—highlights the fact that men can live radically different existences but share the same eternal fate… There is no sinner so depraved—not even Kim Jong-il—that our merciful God cannot save him. And there is no human so righteous—not even Vaclav Havel—whose good works can gain him entrance into heaven. By his death and resurrection, Jesus atoned for our sin and secured our justification by grace—not by our works. The deaths of these men should serve as a reminder of our need to spread the message that heaven is not the final destination for good men and women, but rather the home for those who have been bought by the blood of Christ… if Christianity equals good works, then Christianity is not necessary.

The article in its entirety is displayed below:

The Shared Fate of Vaclav Havel and Kim Jong-il
Joe Carter (December 19, 2011)

One was a playwright, a creator of absurdist fiction, while the other was a filmmaker, a producer of an absurd film about a socialist Godzilla. One coined the term “Post-Totalitarianism” to describe the modern social and political order that enabled people to “live within a lie”; the other, the last of the true totalitarians, lived completely within a lie of his own creation. One became the leader of his country and a famed defender of human rights. The other also became the leader of his country and gained infamy as an oppressor and destroyer of human lives. The death of these two political leaders—Vaclav Havel and Kim Jong-il—highlights the fact that men can live radically different existences but share the same eternal fate.

The history books, judging by the standards of men, will record that Havel was a noble hero and Kim a wretched villain. They will be remembered on earth for the legacies they left behind. But both men now stand before the supreme magistrate who will measure them against the only truly righteous standard: Jesus Christ.

By his actions Kim Jong-il showed disdain for Christ. His regime routinely beat, imprisoned, tortured, and murdered followers of Jesus and punished the families of those suspected of being Christian. In contrast, Havel expressed an affinity for the “Christian sentiment.” Yet, like Kim, he appears to have ultimately rejected Christ as his savior.

In 1990 Havel told The Christian Century, “I accept the Gospel of Jesus as a challenge to go my own way.” A few years earlier, in his book, Disturbing the Peace, he made a similar remark in which he “officially disclaimed” the rumors about his conversion:

I certainly have not become a practicing Catholic: I don’t go to church regularly. . . I took part in secret masses in prison, but I didn’t take communion. . . . Perhaps I understand my Protestant and Catholic friends better today—I’m certainly in greater touch with them, which may be why some people think I have converted. But genuine conversion, as I understand it, would mean replacing an uncertain “something” with a completely unambiguous personal god, and fully, inwardly, to accept Christ as the Son of God, along with everything that that entails, including the liturgy, and I have not taken that step.

Perhaps in the decade since he wrote those words, Havel came to know Christ as his savior. In the coming days his friends and family may share with the world a joyous tale of his conversion. Such hope, however, should not keep us from telling the truth to those who wonder about the fate of everyone who lives, both heroes and villains.

There is no sinner so depraved—not even Kim Jong-il—that our merciful God cannot save him. And there is no human so righteous—not even Vaclav Havel—whose good works can gain him entrance into heaven. By his death and resurrection, Jesus atoned for our sin and secured our justification by grace—not by our works. The deaths of these men should serve as a reminder of our need to spread the message that heaven is not the final destination for good men and women, but rather the home for those who have been bought by the blood of Christ.

Still Grateful

To be sure, we can still be profoundly grateful for Havel’s accomplishments on earth. In fact, only eternal justice can secure the standards by which we measure Havel a hero and Kim a villain. Havel used the common grace provided by his Creator to do much good (though not ultimate good). Provided with life, conscience, and imagination, Havel used his gifts to help others imagine a life free of persecution and tyranny. In contrast, Kim used the gifts of common grace to enslave and oppress those he was called to protect.

Reflecting on their lives in the light of common grace will lead us to a greater appreciation of Havel’s kindness and a deeper abhorrence of Kim’s cruelty. But it should also stir within us a longing to share the fullness of the gospel. As John Calvin wrote,

the gifts of God also, which they continually enjoy, shall increase their condemnation; for an account of them all will be required: and it will then be found, that it will be justly imputed to them as an extreme wickedness, that they had been made worse through God’s bounty, by which they ought surely to have been improved. Let us then take heed, lest by unlawful use of blessings we lay up for ourselves this cursed treasure.

We should honor Havel because of the God who made him and sustained him. We should praise his accomplishments and his courage. But most of all we should be charitable toward his memory by speaking the truth. His good works could not save him any more than they can save you and me. Havel needed, as he understood, to “accept Christ as the Son of God, along with everything that that entails.” Everything, indeed: if Christianity equals good works, then Christianity is not necessary.

Driscoll on the Bible and Sex

I understand that I’m writing to an audience that may not consist entirely of  Christian believers, including some who may even be hostile to Christianity. I also understand that many of these points will either rub some of you the wrong way or even enrage you. But, I make no apologies for the Bible and what it says.  I will say this, however… I don’t write them to condemn you, nor does the Bible. Rather, I ask you to consider your motivations for sex.

In a news article on January 3, 2012, Mars Hill pastor Mark Driscoll wrote What the Bible Really Says about Sex.  The article is written from a pastoral, theological, and personal viewpoint.  Through humor, sobriety, and clear writing, Driscoll goes straight to the heart of the beauty of sex as created by God and sin’s destructive effects upon God’s “very good” creation.

What the Bible Really Says About Sex

Sex is a selfish act, a conquest of personal fulfillment.

That’s the mindset of most people in our culture regarding sex—even if it’s only subconscious. For the most part, our society celebrates the process of hook up, shack up, and break up.

All you have to do is take a moment to observe the way sex is communicated in our culture.

Thousands of articles are churned out on how to cope with a past of multiple partners and how to find the next one. 

Porn is a massive industry, generating $10 to $14 billion annually in revenues. 

Nearly every sitcom on the air seems to make light of sleeping around, and films like “No Strings Attached” and “Friends with Benefits” lure young eyes to the theater, while a sex-crazed Tucker Max boasts about his conquests and skyrockets to the top of the New York Times bestseller list, becoming a cult hero for young slackers everywhere.

It also explains why sex trafficking is a $32 billion global industry, 45,000 to 50,000 young girls are trafficked in the United States every year, and why one in 12 youths experience sexual victimization, including sexual assault and attempted or completed rape.

The problem, however, is not sex.

It’s us.

In order to understand this, we must first understand the underlying cause of all the problems in this world: sin.

In the Bible, Paul says of the human condition:

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

“Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever!” Amen (Romans 1:21-25).

And in case you think Paul is on some self-righteous kick to condemn sinners, he makes clear in the same letter that all of humanity is in the same boat, writing, “Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things” (Romans 2:1).

And to drive the point home, he writes, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” 

Thankfully, he also adds, “and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith.” (Romans 3:23-25).

The point is this: as humans, we’re all sinners and all in need of God’s grace, given freely through Jesus. And apart from Jesus, we all pervert God’s good gifts, such as sex.

Thankfully, God is also merciful and loving. This is why he sent us Jesus to save us from our sin, and it is also why he gave us the Bible to help us understand his plan for a life that honors him and as a result leads to true fulfillment.

The Bible has a lot to say about sex—including that it’s good and that it glorifies God when we enjoy sex in the context for which He created it.

So, I thought I’d share seven sex essentials from the Bible that my wife Grace and I included in our new book, “Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together“:

1. God created us male and female in His image and likeness with dignity, equality, value, and worth. Men and women are different and complement one another (Genesis 1:27-28).

2. Love is more like a song than a math equation. It requires a sense of poetry and passion to be any good at it, which is why people who are stuck in their heads struggle and are frustrated by it, and lovers prefer songs to syllogisms (Song of Solomon, all of it).

3. Marriage is for one man and one woman by God’s design. This is the consistent teaching of the Bible from the table of contents to the appendix and the teaching of Jesus Christ Himself (Genesis 2:24-25, Matthew 19:4).

4. God created sex. God made our bodies “very good” with “male and female” parts and pleasures. When our first parents consummated their covenant, God was not shocked or horrified, because He created our bodies for sex. The reason that sex is fun, pleasurable, and wonderful is because it is a reflection of the loving goodness of God who created it as a gift for us to steward and enjoy (Genesis 2:24-25).

5. Sex outside of marriage is a sin. Sinful sex includes homosexuality, erotica, bestiality, bisexuality, fornication, friends with benefits, adultery, swinging, prostitution, incest, rape, polygamy, polyandry, sinful lust, pornography, and pedophilia (I Corinthians 6:9-11,18-20, Hebrews 13:4).

6. Sex is to be done in such a way that there is no shame (Genesis 2:25; Proverbs 5:18-23). Many people experience shame in regard to sex. Sometimes shame is a gift from God in response to our sexual sin, sometimes it is the devastating feeling we bear because we have been sexually sinned against, and other times we have not sinned or been sinned against sexually but feel shame because we have wrong thinking and feelings about sex in general, or a sex act in particular.

7. Your standard of beauty is your spouse. God made one man and one woman. He did not ask them if they wanted someone tall or short, light or heavy, pale or dark skinned, with long or short hair. In short, He did not permit them to develop a standard of beauty. Instead, He gave them each a spouse as a standard of beauty (Genesis 2:23, Proverbs 6:20-35).

I understand that I’m writing to an audience that may not consist entirely of  Christian believers, including some who may even be hostile to Christianity. I also understand that many of these points will either rub some of you the wrong way or even enrage you. But, I make no apologies for the Bible and what it says.

I will say this, however… I don’t write them to condemn you, nor does the Bible. Rather, I ask you to consider your motivations for sex. 

Have you ever truly given yourself to someone selflessly to love them, explore them, and cherish them until death do you part? Have you spent your life pursuing pleasure instead of seeking to give pleasure to a lifelong spouse? And, are you truly happy and fulfilled with your sex life?

The problem isn’t our partners. It’s us. We’ve perverted sex and misused it. God’s way is the best way, and I encourage you to humbly pray and think about what he has to say about us and sex in his word, the Bible.

As someone who was sexually active before becoming a Christian, I don’t consider myself more holy than anyone else. But, after experiencing Jesus’ forgiveness, becoming a Christian, understanding what the Bible teaches about sex, having massive change in my thoughts and actions about sex, marrying, and today, happily and faithfully married to the same woman for what is approaching 20 years, I sincerely want you to experience the fullness of what God has for you in Jesus Christ.